Making love, having sex, getting laid, or whatever you want to call it, is fun. You feel invincible, sexy and wild, and that’s a good thing, really. But sometimes, in the heat of the moment, things can get rough and maybe even painful. Before we start to give you an overview on the most common or weirdest sexual injuries, let’s just point out that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you think you need a doctor, go see one. And remember that he has probably seen worse things in his life.
The most common is a friction burn, often referred to as a carpet burn. Maybe you came home after dinner and you didn’t make it to the bedroom. So you took of your clothes in the hall and made love leaning against the wall or on the carpet in the living room. Hot, but painful. Imagine having a large carpet burn on your ass and not being able to sit on a chair for three days. Tip: take his t-shirt and put it under your back.
Speaking of not being able to sit, that brings us to anal sex. If you take your time, use protection and (water-based!) lubricant, it’s pretty safe. But… the tissue in that area is extremely sensitive. So take it easy, tiger, because you can cause anal fissures and other wounds. If you do it regularly, you should know that in extreme cases it could cause weakening of the muscles, making you incontinent.
And please, don’t insert things in holes where they don’t belong. Surely everyone remembers the episode of Jackass where Ryan Dunn shovelled a toy car up his ass. But again, doctors have seen worse. There are reports of people who inserted sausages, light bulbs, grapes, candles and dice. In 2008, more then 10.000 British people received medial treatment for having, well… “things” in their “things”.
It also happens more often then you think: concussions! Smacking your head against the bedside table or the wall often ends up with a ride to the hospital instead of a huge orgasm. Bite marks, deep scratches or bruised spots in your neck due to over enthusiastic sucking; you might want to think twice before cheating on your partner.
We saved the worst one for last, sensitive boys can stop reading here. Although it is rare, it is possible to break your penis. For example, if a girl is sitting on top you and your penis slips out of her at the wrong moment. It doesn’t have a bone, so it is actually a rupture inside that will swell up in minutes, turning your penis literally black and blue. Have it treated as soon as possible to avoid complications.
Better safe than sorry, at least now you know what you are up to. There is nothing better to provoke a passionate night than hot temperatures and fabulous cocktails. Rent Apartments in Malaga, and enjoy the Andalusian way of embracing life.