Friday, November 20, 2009

Is jealousy a relationship killer or just a healthy instinct | Venice blog

Jealousy – a relationship killer or just a healthy instinct?

November 20, 2009 By: venice-apartments Category: Venice

Rummaging through handbags looking for possible signs, searching for secret messages in the mobile, examining jacket pockets or even the observation of the ’target object’. Don’t worry; we aren’t talking about a detective story. We have all been there; jealousy. Whether it is in a healthy way or in a more exaggerated form, jealousy can be a real relationship killer. Healthy human instinct or just sick obsession, what do you think?


“Where have you been?” “Why are you so late?” “This business dinner has taken much longer, hasn’t it?” That’s just a little extract of the typical questions of the jealous partner, who is sitting there on the couch, with his/her eyes wide open. Of course, the classical reactions are not far behind: passionate battles of words, arguments, mental wounds, tears, possible reconciliations etc. Whether man or woman, just everyone fears that his or her partner will be unfaithful or that he or she will even fall in love with someone else. Of course, those fears are absolutely comprehensible, but a real ‘no no’ is without any doubt the exaggerated petty jealousies we may have. On the other hand, scientists and psychologists think that this phenomenon is a logical consequence of evolution.

Psychologists of the University of Bielefeld (Germany) have revealed that the reasons of jealousy vary among the genders. While women are more afraid that their partner might be getting feelings for another woman, men’s fears are more to do with their women having sex with other people. Science goes back to specific gender roles developed during history and interesting studies have shown us that concerning a woman’s reaction, the female gender is less sensitive about sexual unfaithfulness than the famous “emotional unfaithfulness”. From an evolutionary point of view the reason for this behavior could be that in former times faithfulness was so important for men because they feared dedicating energy and attention to their offspring which perhaps wasn’t really their own. As you can see, unconscious fears play an important part in our everyday life.

However, a healthy jealousy is one of the most important parts of a good relationship. Love without jealousy is practical impossible, because it shows us that we love and value our partner. But what you shouldn’t do is exaggerate or invent some stories. You should have enough trust in your loved one for avoiding extreme jealous scenes. Just remember: “Jealousy is a passion seeking zealously what causes suffering

Why don’t you spend a few romantic days with your partner in one of the most beautiful Italian cities? Rent the best apartments in Venice and enjoy a romantic, sensual and passionate atmosphere free of jealousy!

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